Woman often write to me with questions about dancing- here are some of them:
What is the best way to learn to dance are there any videos that would show me the techniques or different styles of dancing? I was wondering if I should take a private dancing class or if just plain dancing will get me by.
Dancing is something really best picked up on the job. I’ve never seen a girl really have a problem. If you’re really worried once you’re hired try showing up early before the club opens to practice.
Do you strip away from where you go to school and live? I am like you and do not wish to have anyone know I am stripping either. I live on the border of Mass. so I could easily go there for a job.
New York’s a pretty big city and most of my classmates couldn’t afford to go to my club so I’m pretty safe. A lot of our girls live in other states and commute into NYC to work on weekends.
I really want to be a dancer but I’ve really small breasts. It’s kind of embarrassing- do you think I can still be a dancer?
Don’t worry about your chest. I’ve worked with lots of girls who are totally flat. Different guys like different types of girls, many men prefer a more athletic figure. If it really bothers you just go get them done. But do it because it will make you feel better about your body not because you care what people think. Too many girls go through life hating their bodies and there’s really no reason for it. A properly done augmentation cannot be told from the real thing and it makes clothes fit SO much better. Girls with implants tend to make more money but there’s nothing to say you can earn a good living without them. Don’t worry about it and don’t buy boobs unless you really want them- I’m sure you look great just the way you are;) If your body embarrasses you, you will not enjoy being a dancer. Keep in mind when your dancing that every single guy in the room would saw off his right arm for the opportunity to spend the night with you so they’re hardly going to insult you to your face. That’s the nice thing about stripping- men who wouldn’t look at you twice if you were walking down the street drool all over when your on stage.
I keep getting turned down on auditions- what am I doing wrong?
I’m really surprised you’re having so much trouble. Clubs are always desperate for dancers. They don’t generally pay salaries and the more girls they have the more customers they get. It’s really a win win situation for them so they have to have a very good reason to turn a girl down. It’s generally because she’s carrying a little to much baggage. Remember aside from boobs, low body fat is the name of the game. Flat chest, plain face,short legs- no problem, but if you’re carrying even a little extra in the butt and thighs they won’t hire you. I’m very sorry, I don’t mean to be insulting and I may be totally off base but this is what keeps most girls from getting hired.
You said that you earn $600 to $800 a night. I just started dancing 2 weeks ago and still haven’t made more the $150 a night. What am I doing wrong?
It depends a lot on what city you’re working in and 2 weeks is still fairly new. When I started it took me about a month before I started really making money. Those first few weeks were so depressing- a couple of times I only made cab fare home! If I were you I’d try to get a feel for what the other girls are making. If they’ve been there a year and are still making only $300 a night then perhaps you should look for a better club.
I really want to be a dancer and my boyfriend says he’s ok with it but do you think that he will really be able to handle what I am doing?
Most boyfriends are okay with it for the first few weeks. Then jealousy can start to set in. They imagine you’re doing all sorts of things at the club at night when they’re at home. Or if his friends find out they can try and get him worked up- they say things like “man, how could you stand to have other men looking at your girl like that, I’d never let my girl do that” This can start to build up and eventually leads to a big fight during which all his suspicions come out and it gets pretty ugly. BUT DON’T WORRY! It doesn’t necessarily have to go that way. It really depends on how secure the guy is- him having a little bit of an ego doesn’t hurt either. But keep in mind it does take work- most dancers are single.
Does it matter if your body is not perfect? Mine is fine but I wouldn’t call it spectacular. Do you think the men in the club will notice and find me unattractive?
No it doesn’t matter. Women come in all shapes and sizes and men know that. Men come to strip clubs to enjoy woman- not complain about them. Things may be different elsewhere but I have never heard a customer in my club express displeasure at a woman’s body. That’s one of the big features of the job- all those guys worshiping the ground you walk on. But keep in mind though that the better you look the more money you will make. Diet, make-up, exercise and yes sometimes surgery can turn any girl into a hotty. If you are determined enough there is no reason your body can’t be spectacular.
You mentioned that it’s fine to do girl-on-girl shows. What do you do to make it look real and entertaining? I’ve never done that before but the part that I am most nervous about is one on one with a strange person. Do you think that they require it, how far do you have to go?(I think I’d be fun but I’m a bit nervous).
Remember you don’t “have” to do anything! This is very important. Lots of new girls get taken advantage of. A customer will say something like “well the other dancers let me touch their crotches” and the girl feels like she has to allow it otherwise she won’t get customers. Remember you don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with and if the management tells you differently leave and go to a better club. Girl-on-girl shows are always at the dancers discretion. That being said you’re not going to be thrown into a 2 girl show on your first night. Watch the other girls see how far they go, what they do. When the time comes find a dancer you’re friendly with and discuss it. As I said before it’s lots of fun. And it doesn’t mean you’re a hard core lesbian or anything- just a girl having a little fun. Anyway, not every club has girl-girl shows.
Do you have the same choreographed dance you do all the time, or do you have different styles of dance for different songs?
It’s pretty free flowing, I move from one routine to the next at will. It would get pretty boring if I did the same thing every night. You just go with the music. A good DJ helps.
Do you do lap dancing? And if you do, do you find it demeaning, or would you say it’s a good way to make more money?
I don’t lap dance (that and touching aren’t allowed at my club) I think I prefer it that way. A lot of girls think they’ll make more money working at a club that allows lap dances but that’s generally not the case. Some girls prefer it though- in some ways it’s easier. Dancers at “gown” clubs have to stay in better shape. A guy won’t buy a dance from a chubby girl if she’s not going to bump-and-grind. It’s a question of personal preference, if you find lap dancing demeaning then don’t do it.
I’m 5’10… do you think I should wear the 4 inch heels, or do you think I’d be too tall?
Go for the 4 inch. The main purpose of heels is to flatten your stomach and lengthen your legs, the height thing doesn’t really matter. If you’re worried, a two piece dress or thigh high stockings will make you look shorter. Just avoid standing next to the really small girls. I was once dancing on stage with a beautiful dancer about your size but the difference in our height made us both look bad. I looked like a midget and she looked like a giant. Something to keep in mind…
I would like to become a stripper and heard something about a “house fee” (something about the strippers having to pay to strip? not sure) I was wondering if you could let me know what that is exactly?
Most clubs charge a house fee. Dancers love to complain about this but few of them understand the economics behind it. House fee covers the cost of dressing rooms, security, make-up artist etc. At my club house fee it’s $75 a night. Some clubs go as low as $20. At a club with a higher house fee you will definitely be making more money so don’t use house fee amount as a criteria for choosing a club. You should expect house fee to work out to between 10 and 20 percent of your nightly earnings. Calculate it at the end of a month:
If in 1 month at 3 nights a week you made $6000.
Paid out $50 per night in house fees. ($600)
That means your only paying 10%. I consider up to 20% fair. If it were to go higher then that for at least 2 months I’d think about changing clubs.
As far as tanning goes, should I go for nude, topless, or wear what I would wear to work so I can get the same lines. I know that having a tan looks better, I am just wondering what to tan.
I rarely tan, maybe once every month or 2 during the winter. Club lighting generally smoothes out the tone of your skin. All the cigarette smoke in the club is hell on your skin, it’s like smoking two packs a day. I’ve seen girls who’ve been dancing for 6 years who have faces like a shoe. The last thing I want to do is dump more UV light on it, it will make me look a little better now but how will I look later? Keep in mind that the black lights at the club are UV as well and you’re under them all night long. So I keep it to a minimum. I tan very little, with my work thong on and a towel over my face. (This actually looks okay because your face is generally darker then your body anyway) That way I hope to minimize the damage.
I am a 29 year old black female who is looking to break into stripping. Your web page was extremely up front and interesting. You don’t talk much about minorities though. I was hoping to get a clear picture about the financial breakdown of the different minorities
When I first started I really expected ethnicity to play a larger part in dancing. Believe it or not it seems to be remarkable small. Whether they choose to admit it or not men like woman period. And they like them in all shapes, sizes and colors. The only thing that really takes getting used to is that the men tend to be somewhat tactless. I get a lot of bowing or guys trying to talk to me in Japanese or making take-out jokes. At first I got really pissed, after a while I realized that most of these guys were actually decent guys but had never talked to an Asian women before and were unsure of how to act and what to say. Many of your customers will not be Black. It’s important to understand that they may not have the same background as you. Some of their comments may seem insulting. Like Asians, most people only know about Black people from what they’ve seen on TV. So the short story is, expect some awkwardness on the part of customers not of your ethnicity. Try to be understanding but also don’t be afraid gently correct them. Tactless is one thing abuse is another.
As far as earning differential I’d rather not comment too much on this. Too many girls blame their lack of earnings on things like implants verses natural, blond versus brunette, tall versus short etc. This is neither accurate nor constructive. The determining factor in earnings in a gown club is attitude and conversational skills. If I just got off the boat from Korea and barely understood English or was born and raised in BedStuy and had a thick Brooklyn accent, a well heeled Wall street executive is not going to be able to comfortable interacting with me. No interaction, no money.
Another thing that is common is people of your own ethnicity feeling they can take liberties with you because “they’re your people”. Asian guys are always trying bargain with me on table dances or trying to grope me because they think I’m Asian so it’s okay. It can also be a problem if I choose to sit with white or black customers instead of a group of Asians. A lot of people have strong ‘anti-mixing” sentiment. This can be a problem.
I just turned 16 and am think of becoming a dancer. Will any clubs hire me?
I started dancing when I was 18. Nowhere in the US is it legal for you to dance under that age- even if you’re able to your parents could go to jail for neglect. In Canada you can start dancing at 16 but I really wouldn’t suggest it. Keep in mind dancing is a means to an end- it makes a lousy career. When I was in high school many of my friends had part time jobs to save for college. I think that their studies suffered because of it. I was able to devote all my time to studying as much as I could. When I was 18 and graduated high school I had been accepted to some very good colleges. I started dancing that summer. So when spring came and college started most of my high school friends were starving their way through community college; I had plenty of money and could afford to go to a very good school and even afford to hire private tutors for difficult subjects. This is really what dancing is great for. It enables a girl to earn a good living while in college without having to worry about loans or anything. I hate to sound like a typical grownup but my advice is to put all your effort into school. That way when you graduate you’ll have the grades and the source of income to go to law, medical school etc.
If you have any specific questions that are not answered in the FAQ you can try Emailing me. Please keep in mind I dance, go to school and run several other Websites. There is a good chance I will not have the time to answer. There are a few questions I cannot, or will not answer:
Any question already answered on the site or asking “Can you tell me anything more?”
I cannot help you with advice on how to dance for your partner. This site is for women looking to dance for a living,
I also will not answer Emails asking for information on how to dance- I already addressed this issue on the site.
I don’t know anything about male exotic dancing- if you’re a guy I can’t help you.
Questions along the line of “Am I too (insert one: overweight, fat, scarred, tattooed, short, tall etc). to be a dancer?” I cannot tell you, different clubs hire different looking girls of different ages. I don’t know what the criteria for your local clubs are. There is an easy way to figure out if you will be hired- go audition. If you don’t have the self confidence to go audition then you’ll be better off not dancing. Dancing, like many other trades has physical requirements. I might want to be a firefighter but at 5 feet tall I wouldn’t be a very good one. If you are overweight, or age has given your face a good deal of character that does not mean you are not beautiful, that just means that you are not going to do very well as a dancer. It may not be fair but it is reality. I know this seems harsh but often women who would just not be happy or successful as dancers email me expecting unrealistic answers to their questions. When they don’t get them they get very angry and take it out on me. No being suitable for dancing is not a personality flaw and nothing to get upset about.