Tools of the trade

Tools of the trade
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Other than your body, which we’ll get into later, the tools of the trade are clothing, makeup, and shoes. In dancing, as with any other trade, it never pays to buy cheap tools-they don’t work well, they break and you’ll just have to replace them anyway.

Heels are your first purchase. Minimum height is 3 inches- anything shorter and your gut will stick out and your legs will look like tree trunks. Look for a shoe with a plastic one-piece sole and heel. Shoes with the leather and wood heels are much more elegant but after the second night of dancing on them the heels tend to flex too much and put a lot of stress on your knees and back. Open toes tend to be more comfortable but if you’re going to wear them you have to make sure your toenails are painted and trimmed. Putting no-slip rubber pads on the bottom of the shoe is a good idea- it prevents embarrassing falls on slippery stages.

Bottoms come in a few different varieties: choose according to your tastes, club rules, etc. Almost all clubs require thongs. A dancing bottom can be purchased through mail order (see Note 1) or at stores that carry them. Girls who try dancing in underwear or a swimsuit bottom always look tacky. Buy the right kind. Some topless clubs have rules against g-strings (string sides and back) because they tend to not provide enough coverage to comply with local laws.

Some clubs don’t care what kind of dress you wear- lots of girls wear neon spandex micro minis etc. Other clubs called “gown clubs” have more strict rules and generally require these sort of slutty evening gowns. These gowns like the bottoms need to be custom made or ordered- nothing from the department store will cut it. One thing that I cannot emphasis enough- NEVER ever wear an asymmetrical dress (hem cut at an angle or one shoulder strap). As most people know, men subconsciously look at certain physical attributes as signs of good genetics and a desirable partner — boobs, hips etc. They also look for something anthropologists call “Bilateral Symmetry” which means that your arms and legs are the same length, your torso is straight etc. An asymmetrical dress throws this off. It may look nice but you can actually chart the drop in earnings on a night to night basis.

Hair. Neck down it’s all gotta go. Leave a little patch on top. Even if you’re only dancing topless you have to keep it pretty clear. It looks really gross when little strands of hair stick out from the side of your G-string. Most girls wax but if it’s a real problem some girls get electrolysis (ouch either way). I had mine done with a laser with good results. I know a lot of other girls are doing the same these days. Stubble is a definite no-no and shaving several days a week causes irritation and ingrown hair. So I’d stick with wax, laser or electrolysis.

Make up is pretty easy- most girls already know how to do that. Some clubs have their own makeup artists- they generally do a good job but tend to make all the girls look the same. A vital tool of the trade is body makeup. This is used to cover any blemishes that you might have on your body. If your club does a lot of pole or floor work you will need body makeup- This kind of dancing causes a lot of leg bruising.

Your body
What kind of shape you’re in makes a bigger difference in your earnings than anything else. An hour of exercise a day can mean $200 more a night. It’s important that you understand that your body is how you earn a living, as such you have to take very good care of it. In the world of strip clubs the name of the game is low bodyfat. Sure some men like extra padding but no one likes cheese. It’s an unfortunate truth but the slimmer you are the more money you will make. You don’t have to be fashion model skinny but you do have to be tight if you expect to make good money. I personally find that a combination of yoga and weight training is ideal for the kind of look that men like.

I do Ashtanga yoga four days a week, run one-day and weight training one day. The most effective weight training exercises for woman are squats, lunges and stiff-leg or sumo deadlifts. None of these lifts should be done on machines- free weights only. Machines are no where near as effective. Train heavy and train hard. Yoga and dancing are both very catabolic activities (they break down muscle tissue) you will not get bulky.

I use the following:
Squats 3 sets of 20 reps, 120 seconds rest between sets.
Stiff-leg deadlifts 3 sets of 10 reps, 120 seconds rest between sets.
Rest 5 minutes
Dumbbell lunges 4 sets of 12 reps, 90 seconds rest between sets
Hanging crunches 4 sets 90 seconds rest between sets

The squats should be to failure, it should be VERY hard to hit 20. Like having a baby hard. Squats will make a bigger change in your physique then anything else. When you do your yoga and running do it in the morning on an empty stomach. If you have a real fat problem an hour of running or jump rope a day before breakfast with a low/no carb diet can take of a lot of fat in a short period of time.

One of the problems with maintaining relatively low levels of body fat is that there is no way to have “spot” fat loss. It’s all or nothing. As you lose the fat off your butt and thighs you also lose your breasts- often as much as a cup size. This is the reason that many dancers choose to have breast augmentation. Unfortunately some people like to tut-tut and shake their heads at women who get implants and imply all sorts of nasty things about the morals of women who would actually care about the way they look. Implants should be a choice based on how you feel- not how other people feel about you having them. There are lots of men who rail against implants, about how they don’t like them and how they can always tell the difference, but that’s bullshit. The only time they can tell is if it’s a bad implant job, since they think the good jobs are real they assume that all implants look bad. Most men will tell you they don’t like implants but in my experience in real life they like them a great deal. The girls I work with estimate it was an additional 20% in earnings after they got their augmentation and that most men seem to find them much, much, more attractive. Of course you shouldn’t just get implants just to make more money, you should get them so you feel good about yourself. Some people may say that’s a bad way to feel good about yourself but you could be doing a whole lot worse and more harmful things. Is it “fair”? No, of course not, life’s not fair. It’s also not “fair” that women prefer muscular men to fat ones. In an ideal world we wouldn’t care about that but the reality is that our society places a great deal of value in physical attractiveness. Having large breasts makes you feel sexy, attractive and desirable. If men could have an operation to do the same there would be a line going around the block and Medicaid would cover it.

Different diets work for different people. Regardless of what you choose it has to be something you can stay on permanently. You can’t just diet when you think your getting fat, as a dancer you have to maintain a consistantly low level of bodyfat. For me carbs are the problem. The only real carb heavy meal I eat is breakfast, I usually have a bowl of cereal or hot oatmeal. Then with lunch slightly less, usually just a sandwich with some whole wheat bread. For dinner almost none, a very small scoop of rice or vegetables with a small steak or chicken breast. I avoid salad, pasta and other high-carb meals. I occasionally eat fried chicken or hamburgers, I just keep the portions very small and try to eat it early in the day. Avoid low-fat foods or at least read the labels carefully, they tend to have a lot of sugar and nothing gets you fat faster than sugar- not even fat. I also try and break my meals down into several small ones. If it’s a sandwich or something I eat one half then and one half an hour or two later- this helps you metabolize your food better. This may not work for you but I know many dancers on this or very similar programs who are able to stay in very good shape even with lousy genetics ( I was 20lbs heavier before I started doing this and I’ve been able to maintain my weight for several years). The point is you need to find something that does work, staying in good shape is critical to your livelihood.

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